Hurt

It’s been a while since I posted anything.

A lot has been going on. The event I was waiting for… Didn’t happen. In fact, it got postponed until 2023. I’ve already talked about this, but…

I’m going to freely admit that this delay hurt me deeply.

I want – need – to get past this thing that has dominated so many years of my life. Finding a way past it – getting closure is what I’ve wanted for a long time.

But actually, getting closure is another matter.

I need it, want it.

But it’s hard to get.

I’d thought that maybe I could move forward without anything having to happen – but it doesn’t work that way, does it?

It’s hard to accept that reality. But I don’t have a choice. I can’t fully move on until I get closure, and I can’t get closure until next year.

Catch 22.

But then what else can I do?

Waiting is all I can do.

Wait.

And it’s hard doing that.

More soon.