Blog Archive

The Power of Music

Maybe it’s just something I find useful, but music can change my mood – it can wake me up, enthuse me, energise me, take me back in time, bring me into the now. Music, in its purest sense can define or be used to define the way I currently feel. Today is a classical kind … Continue reading The Power of Music

Music

With soundful abound,I am surrounded…Weaving strands of colour mix well,Highlighting patterns in the air.Technicolour waves –Rave,And stave off discord,With cords across the board –Each note a mote,But pleasantly spoke,As music surrounds,Abounds –And carries me forth.

Debunking Myths

Some people that know me have reacted with surprise, and in some cases disbelief, that I have ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder). Some of these are people who have seen me go through my lengthy mental health journey. And there is an irony to that because they have seen me at my lowest – they have … Continue reading Debunking Myths

Am I Autistic Enough

Some people still react with surprise and maybe doubt when I tell them I have autism – maybe the problem isn’t me, but the perception of what they think Autism is supposed to be.

Sing A Long…

AGONYI’m in…AGONYA – it’s Annoying,G – keep me Groaning,O – Offends my bodyN – Never going to end,Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyy-yyyyy-yyyyyyyy… Yeah, so the back pain is still going on, and they have me so fully pumped full of muscle relaxants and pain relief that I swear I can taste colour at the moment. Due to Covid, the … Continue reading Sing A Long…

Endings & Beginnings

December 2020, I said goodbye to my CPN, Giles. Giles has been looking after my mental health for a long time and he was (is) a great bulwark against the demons I deal with. But like all things, it couldn’t continue forever. Therapy only works when you learn that you have to stand on your … Continue reading Endings & Beginnings

Folding

The deepest darkest reaches,Folding out and in…Swallowing me whole,And spitting me out again –And again,And again.Emptiness unbound by motion,Foolishness…Stupidity…Understandable?Maybe…But still folding in and out,Surging and receding.

Update

It may sound weird, but I’m just not feeling it at the moment. Yeah, the excitement over finding out I am autistic is beginning to wane, being replaced by the horrified knowledge that this has been the way I’ve been for all of my life and it was somehow missed. Finding out the truth as … Continue reading Update

Burnout

I am dealing with burnout at the moment, for various reasons. Firstly, I have been very creative in a short space of days and created a new 3D model – actually I created two, and secondly, I have been getting ready for… Well, my Christmas tradition the last few years has been to be in … Continue reading Burnout

Silence

I’ve been quiet for a time. I’ve needed some space because it’s been a year since my I had the meltdown that cost me so much personally. In a way I’ve needed to mourn the losses. More soon.

Bench Test

Content Warning – this is a horror short story, promoted by the fact we are in the month of October and close to Hallow’s Eve. It is not for children and adults of a sensitive nature. And it is only a story. The weather isn’t quite perfect, too much sun, too much warmth. Part of … Continue reading Bench Test

Blackbirds

*A poem for Hallow’s Eve. Sing a song of sixpence,A pocket full of rye.The killer’s in the corn,And you are gonna die. Four and twenty blackbirds,Take unto the sky,Now’s the time to move your feet,Now’s the time to hide. When the door is opened,Your nerves will start to sing,Hoping that your dainty breath,Doesn’t give away … Continue reading Blackbirds

Knowing

The rapturous serendipity of knowing,That which is already know…Benign,But by virtue of definition –Important.Leading to the conclusion that what we now know,Doesn’t define…But in an understated way understands.

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